|
Practicing Significance Glorifying God by fulfilling your own unique purposes through the never-ending action of acquiring, using, and sharing diverse resources. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Aging – Preparing for Retirement
“Somebody is boring me. I think it’s me.” Dylan Thomas
“The most daring escapes are not from prisons, but from self-imposed duties, responsibilities, and limitations.” Unknown
“Habit is a cable. We weave a thread of it every day, and at last we cannot break it.” Horace Mann
“Many people don’t realize my importance immediately, and a surprising number never realize it at all.” Ashley Brilliant
Introduction
Retirement is not an easy task, especially for men. This statement is self-evident to those who have participated in the retirement process, but isn’t obvious to those who long for the expected bliss of retirement. The following lesson deals with miscellaneous thoughts concerning the preparation for retirement. Financial, health, relationship, and other aspects are shown in other Practicing Significance lessons. However, the presumption inherent in this lesson is that you have done or will do the preparations necessary to give you the freedom to make a wide range of decisions. The more limited you are with financial, relationship or health concerns, the more limited will be many of your life-style choices. For example, if you want to continue living in your beloved home (even though it is too big now that the kids are gone), but cannot afford the repair bills, utility bills, taxes, and mortgage payments, you may have to choose a less desirable residence.
Retirement Preparation
Successful retirement preparation requires the willingness to learn, plan, and be optimistic. The ideas needed to do this learning and planning can come from a variety of sources, including: books, conversations with retirees, movies, and the AARP.
Before taking a look at the positive actions to take, it is necessary (though mildly uncomfortable) to look at some of the problems and traps that can await the unprepared. In no particular order:
· The number one reason why men (and some women) have a hard time retiring is…they get their identity from work. These people see life through the lens of their occupation. They relate to all others, including their families, through the filter of their employment. Listen as almost any two men meet. Within a few sentences they will try to find out the occupation of the other. It’s how they can size up each other quickly, it’s how they find something to talk about, and it’s how they find a way to be comfortable. With this worldview, it’s impossible to retire without a tremendous readjustment. The more important your job makes you feel, the harder will be your readjustment after retiring. In fact, many people find it impossible to ever retire because they can’t separate themselves from their work. The solution is to realize years before retirement that work is a means to help you meet your goals and fulfill your purposes, it is not your purpose in life.
· As a corollary to the above point, if you were “important” in your job, expect to find that you will no longer be so. Your importance came from your job and your company. Suppliers and salesmen will not be calling, subordinates will not be asking for advice, your financial wizardry will no longer be needed, and you and your spouse will have to introduce yourselves in a different manner. Remember, the old saying, “the bigger they are the harder they fall.” Most of us greatly miss intellectual fellowship, solving problems, having approval from our peers, and having a career purpose. It will be important to find our “importance” in another manner.
· Be prepared to find that they will do quite well without you at work. Remember how many others have left your company in the past with little repercussion? Well, the same is going to happen when you leave. This can be psychologically devastating. In the 2003 Jack Nicholson film, About Schmidt, are a couple of painful scenes showing how gut-wrenchingly sad this can be. The only way to prepare is to absolutely know it is going to happen, and not hope otherwise. Take this as proof that you helped them successfully make the transition, and use it as a freeing event so that you can go anywhere, anytime.
· Be prepared to miss certain perks from your job. You may have had travel, entertainment, computer, or even personal paperwork perks.
· If you were not happy in your job, it is possible that you will not be happy in retirement. The problem may not lie within your job, but within another aspect of your life. Consider counseling long before you retire.
· The first year of retirement can be very disorienting. Expect to feel a bit lost as you learn a new life-style. Most of us have a sense of loss during this period.
· Many people think they will be happy after retirement because their days will consist of playing golf or tennis or bridge, they will travel all over the U.S. or the world, or they will do all of those many leisure activities they have long dreamed of. Although some people are able to be happy with a continual leisure schedule, most of us tire of it pretty quickly. Once again, the solution lies in knowing your purposes and pursuing them both before and after retirement. If you do so, leisure will take its proper and pleasant place in your life.
· Like any life-changing event, give yourself six months after retirement to organize and adjust. Even if you think you prepared adequately, it is likely that there will be many surprises. During this period, don’t make any critical, irreversible decisions (especially those with a financial impact). This applies to taking on new activities and volunteer work. It will be nice to be active, but you may regret taking on long-term responsibilities.
· Both spouses should be equally informed about all financial facts and estate plans. This information should be incredibly comprehensive. In the past, many disasters have happened (especially to wives) because it was presumed that everything was taken care of…and it wasn’t. Sometimes just having knowledge can prevent big problems. Not acknowledging problems will not make them go away, it will only make them worse.
· Everyone has learned to live with just a small portion of your time, attention, knowledge, and wit. Just because you retire and now desire to give them a bigger portion doesn’t mean they will value it or even want it. This is especially true with your spouse. Many a divorce has been threatened because a newly retired spouse is now spending too much time at the house and is now a pest. Most of us disastrously try to transfer our workplace habits to the house. One preparation is having lots of dialogue with the spouse about how you can both agree on your involvement (or non-involvement) in household responsibilities and family responsibilities. Another important preparation is making sure you will have a valuable use for your time after retirement. There are many, many people who will value your time and effort if you will give them a chance. (see lesson on Volunteering)
· Prepare to feel old. Most of us feel like teenagers on the inside, but look like our parents on the outside. Some day, when you least expect it, something will happen to make you realize that you are older than you feel. That day causes a severe reaction in many of us. By expecting this event, you have a better chance of the severe reaction resulting in positive actions instead of negative actions.
· As a corollary to the above, prepare for age discrimination. Whether it is trying to gain employment or just get respect from strangers, many people treat older people with great caution or indifference. This will continue to happen no matter how many laws are passed.
· Take control of your medical care. Make sure of your medical insurance coverage, and make changes and additions where necessary. Unfortunately, many seniors find it very difficult to obtain reasonable health care insurance as they approach retirement. Keeping good health is very important.
· Avoid fraud. This sounds obvious, but many of us will be victims of fraud when we can least afford it. Fraud comes in many disguises, but often is tied to your greed or gullibility. Sometimes the perpetrator of fraud is ignorant themselves, but there is harm to you nonetheless. Use your trusted friends, advisors, and family before committing to any financial obligation that is out of the ordinary for you.
· Know that new hobbies or businesses can consume a tremendous amount of your cash and time. They often require obligations that seem small now, but can be explosive in the future. Avoid business ventures which: you don’t control, are general partnerships, or have potential liabilities to you personally (i.e. letters of credit, signature on a mortgage or note, etc.)
· Most people find that their expenditures do not decrease as much as anticipated after retirement. Use retirement as a good reason to stop expenditures. Included in this may be allowances to children, payments on a child’s car, dues to clubs you no longer use, and payments on cell phones. Many of the expenditures that you made for “business purposes” have become luxuries and should be eliminated or reduced. In this category are expensive homes, cars, and country clubs. Besides reducing the financial pressure, eliminating certain expenditures can simplify your life and make it much more pleasant.
· Be prepared to find friends a different way. Most of us have a large base of friends because of our work. Once we are gone from the workplace, it will become increasingly hard to keep these friends, and more difficult to make new friends. Hopefully, from your new activities you will find new friends, and not just with those people that are “old”! This can be a special issue for those who retire at a young age. Most of their friends will still be working and not have time or money to play.
· There are a special set of problems waiting for those two-income families when only one spouse retires. These problems may be exacerbated if the financial situation isn’t rosy. Again, lots of communication will be needed.
· As people begin to realize they will live longer and their financial situation is perilous, they will be forced to work full or part-time long after they had planned to retire. This may have severe psychological impacts. However, it would seem that we should remain active our entire lives. Therefore, we should see retirement as a change of vocation which may entail working full or part-time.
· The Bible encourages us to have a lifelong assignment of expanding our efforts to maximize resources for the benefit of the kingdom of God. This assignment does not end at age 50, 60, 70, or 80.
Now that you have seen some of the traps and problems that may wait, it will be easier to take positive actions. Many of these actions are discussed in great detail in other Practicing Significance lessons.
1. Understand your purposes. Once you do, you will have an irreplaceable basis on which to have a good self-image and feel valuable. It will be much easier to set goals and make a life-plan on which you can focus. In fact, after retirement, you will have the special opportunity to focus on things that are valuable to you.
2. Once you know your new goals, your value system will change. This is one of the most important aspects of retiring significantly. In your new economy, helping a widow fix a broken window is more valuable than making a sale to a reluctant client. It will be more valuable to see a smile from someone you help than a smile from your boss.
3. If you plan well, you will once again find that time is a limitation, but you won’t be so stressed about it. It will be important to fill your calendar with activities that you value, rather with activities that others thrust on you because you let them. Remember that you have absolute control over investing your time to meet your goals. Many of us try to schedule projects that have definite beginnings and endings rather than take on open-ended responsibilities. It helps me to remember that I don’t have much time left to accomplish the things I value and enjoy the relationships in my life, so my time is more valuable now than it was when I had a career.
4. Keeping your personal financial records accurate will be more important than ever. It is likely that you will find your financial freedom from keeping costs under control. Most of us expect our expenses to fall after retirement, but it is likely they won’t fall that much unless you work at it.
5. If you have a spouse, start working on communication and compromises early. Some interesting ideas are:
a. allocate some “his” and “her” spaces in the house
b. get separate phone, fax, and/or internet lines
c. plan certain meals which will usually be eaten out
d. agree on TV time, nap time, cleaning time, etc.
e. eliminate irritations early, i.e. who answers the phone, who cooks, who takes out the trash.
f. schedule time away from each other
g. talk about the future, not the past
h. talk about ideas, not other people
i. learn how not to include a spouse without their prior consent
6. As in most of life, attitude is everything. More retirees are choosing to think of retirement in very positive ways, and are aggressively pursuing an active satisfying life of travel, study, church work, and better relationships.
Beware of Retirement Communities
If you ever take a trip to a nice retirement community, you will be impressed with the lifestyle. After talking to residents and getting other opinions, consider these websites: www.aarp.org/confacts/housingchoices/, www.aahsa.org/public/consumer.htmt, www.ccaconline.org/aflist.htm.
Consider the following, too:
· You might be moving away from family or very close friends, and it may be difficult to see each other in the future.
· You will lose important input sources from younger adults and children, and become more isolated.
· You will find that the people in your new community die more often, which may cause you to have negative psychological reactions.
· You may find life is easier and safer, but less meaningful as you become more of a taker and less of a giver.
· Especially if you have two homes, you will find it difficult to maintain past meaningful relationships and build new ones which have depth.
· The costs of moving and living may be much higher than you suspect.
Conclusion
Successful retirement preparation requires the willingness to learn, plan, and be optimistic. Successful retirement is usually achieved by those who start appropriately planning years before they retire, and seldom achieved by those who wait until it happens.
Additional Resources
Schwab, Charles You’re 50, Now What
Burkett, Larry and Blue, Ron Wealth to Last
Kaplan, Lawrence Retiring Right – 2002 Edition
Lee, Dee and Flewelling, Jim The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Retiring Early