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Practicing Significance Glorifying God by fulfilling your own unique purposes through the never-ending action of acquiring, using, and sharing diverse resources. |
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Introduction to Practicing Significance
“No one has perfect insight into God’s will – especially perfect insight for another person. Usually a decision requires wisdom from God’s Word, the counsel of godly people, and personal discernment in order to determine God’s will for our lives.” Larry Burkett and Ron Blue
“He sometimes noticed with dissatisfaction that he repeated the same remark on the same day in different circles. But he was so busy for whole days together that he had no time to notice that he was thinking of nothing.” Count Tolstoy
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Henry David Thoreau
“You didn’t lose control of your life…you gave it away.” Mariann McKinney
Introduction
This
series of Practicing Significance lessons has been designed for retired people,
people expecting to retire, and for anyone else making a major life change. The
lessons are meant to provide practical information to help you move into a life
that is more enjoyable, productive, and significant. The most important lessons
deal with purpose, goals and planning. The remainder of the lessons deals with
information and resources concerning subjects that touch most of us.
It is our intention that our material reflects a Christian worldview in which the Word of God as revealed in the Bible is the foundation and the final authority for everything we hold true. This is well expressed by the Westminster Confession of Faith written in 1647 A.D.: “The whole counsel of God, concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man’s salvation, faith, and life, is either expressly set down in Scripture, or by good and necessary consequence may be deduced from Scripture: unto which nothing at any time is to be added, whether by new revelations of the Spirit, or traditions of men.”
A Retirement Paradox
One goal of Practicing Significance is to spark an interest in unleashing the resources of people like us - retired people, people expecting to retire, and anyone interested in getting more out of life. Compared to other population segments, we have more disposable income, available time, talent, experience and wisdom. Yet, to live the second part of our lives significantly, many of us are unprepared individually, and our churches and organizations are unprepared for us. Some of us don’t have much money, but some are extremely wealthy. Many of us have been successful in some aspect of business or social life, but have found that these are no longer the center of our lives. We are searching for contentment and fulfillment, have the desire to be useful and significant, and share the common goal of wanting the rest of our lives to be better than the first part.
Practicing Significance
If we choose, the best part of our lives is ahead of us. A famous Bible verse says “Seek and you will find.” If we choose to diligently seek significance, we will be given many opportunities. It is not easy. In fact, most people that begin the process will find it to be more difficult than expected. It isn’t quick. In fact, it will take the rest of our lives.
The word “practice” has several definitions. It may be habitual or customary performance, as in “it is my practice to drink coffee every morning.” It may be the repeated exercise needed to acquire skill, as in “basketball practice”. It may be a skilled vocation, as in “a doctor’s practice”. For our purposes, the word “practice” is the essence of all three: the never-ending action of acquiring, using, and sharing diverse resources.
The word “significance” also has various definitions. As will be explained, we choose to define it as: Glorifying God by fulfilling your own unique purposes. Attaining significance requires discovering these unique purposes, then acting to fulfill them. These purposes will be of importance and will likely include acting to help others. These are not necessarily the purposes set out by society, peers, business partners, or even a spouse. These purposes may be the same until the day you die, or they may change from time to time. These are purposes that are yours to discover and are yours to fulfill.
In total, “practicing significance” means: glorifying God by fulfilling your own unique purposes through the never-ending action of acquiring, using and sharing diverse resources.
That may sound intriguing, but this thought may be going through your mind: “I would love to practice significance, but I can’t because...” The becauses include: not enough money, too old, not smart enough, family problems, time constraints, not good-looking enough, and so on. It is true that many of the stories concerning significant people are about brilliant, rich, creative people. Yet there are many, many more stories about people who have chosen to practice significance who were previously ordinary in every way. In fact, here is an example of an ordinary person who chose to practice significance.
Buddy was a rising mid-level manager in a large company who decided he wanted more out of life. He started a small computer company that did fairly well, then began to realize that business did not meet his spiritual needs. He began to study ways to have a more significant life and met with many people who could advise him. He sold his business and started a program called Stand in the Gap, which works with individuals in financial and social poverty to help them help themselves break the poverty cycle. Along with many other concerned individuals, he is affecting individuals and families in the Tulsa community. It’s a daily struggle, but Buddy has never been more fulfilled or happy.
Do you know any people, like Buddy, who left or altered an ordinary life and began to more seriously practice significance? Have you ever wanted to join them? Why not choose to join them now?
Who is the most significant person you know or have known? One of the most significant people I have ever known is Hugh Emerson. At age 99, he was still receiving letters thanking him for changing someone’s life. He changed thousands of lives through his teaching, leadership, and daily example. Born poor, he never had much money, but used to the fullest his talents and energy to accomplish whatever he set out to do until at least age 93. He was a school superintendent in rural Oklahoma, then he retired to continue a life of service and example. My grandfather was truly significant to his community and his family.
The Second Half
In 1996, Gale Sheehy wrote the book New Passages. She describes a process whereby men are pretty much over-the-hill by their early 50’s. This struck me pretty hard since I was 45 at the time I read it. I realized she was describing me unless I took steps to change my future. So, I started studying the subject of aging, and started gathering resources to understand what I would be facing. It was surprisingly difficult to find and gather many of those resources. Fortunately, I was introduced to the book Halftime, by Bob Buford. Bob was a very successful businessman, who has taken his money and efforts and created various organizations to help people reach their potential and to help churches grow.
My rendition of his primary concept is described by thinking about life as a sports event. Imagine that the first half is a game of football. You take years to learn the rules and you practice every day to learn the plays and requirements of your position. Then, you go out and play a great first half. You go into the locker room for halftime and you’re tired, beat-up, and maybe even a little bloody. Then, to your amazement, you find out that the second half of the game is not football, but rugby. You don’t know any of the rules, you have only some skills which may be useful, you don’t even know how to keep score, and yet you are going to have to go out and play anyway. You look around the locker room, and everybody else has the same “deer-in-the-headlights” look on their faces. If that were to happen, what would you want to accomplish during the halftime, and how long would you want halftime to be?
The following two paragraphs is a description that fits most men and, tragically, many women. In most of our lives, the first half consists of some 45-55 years. Most of us groom ourselves for a successful career during this period. We try to get a good education, then fight for more money, more titles, more opportunities, and so on. In fact, most of us got our identities from our business life. Have you ever really listened to a discussion when two businesspeople meet? Within the first few seconds, one asks the other, “So, what do you do?” We are almost unable to communicate until we can establish our business identities and pecking order. In fact, we soon find that we cannot separate our identities and our businesses. What a mess! Spouses and children may be important, but are usually secondary in our priorities. In fact, we men don’t even realize that by having children and families we may have fulfilled our entire biologic and social purpose, and in many ways we really are over-the-hill. Church and social activities often are not only a bother, but make us feel guilty because we really don’t value them much. Our fantasies and dreams get reduced to trying to get away for a round of golf, a tennis match, or anything else that will give us just a little relief from the relentless pressures of business, family, and money. In fact, many marriage problems occur because one of the partners is just seeking relief from the relentless pressure.
The day inevitably comes when we realize that the family is raised and our business careers are established. We try not to look, but know that the end of business life and maybe even our very lives is starting to approach. We will fight it, but we know that we are no longer immortal or omnipotent like we were in our 20’s and 30’s. The first half is nearing an end, and halftime is upon us. Some of us close our eyes and refuse to admit that a transition period is occurring, and we fight to stay in the first half as long as possible. Some of us grudgingly admit a change is coming, but refuse to really prepare for it.
Have you ever seen a dog that was trained by a shock collar? He knows exactly the boundaries of the yard and exactly how to act. He knows with certainty that if he gets out of bounds he will be punished. That is an apt example of how most of us behave. In the first half of our lives we know the boundaries and act accordingly. Unfortunately, when the collar comes off, many of us never learn that the boundaries are totally artificial.
So here’s what the second half may present without enough preparation. You and your spouse will likely have a hard time adjusting to the additional time you spend together. Believe this: your spouse is not used to having you around, and likely doesn’t want you around much more than you currently are. The spouse is looking forward to freedom, not to being your nanny. You might be presented with aging parents who have financial and physical needs. Your children might not be as independent as you had hoped, and all those inadequacies you had as a first half parent are going to come home to roost. You may find that leisure and entertainment become inordinately important, but not fulfilling or even enjoyable. Even simple daily tasks take way too long and use too much energy. There may be too much time in every day, but not enough time left in life. You might feel slightly depressed, and often have little energy. You will likely feel that you are wasting your life away.
Oh well, that’s the second half without preparation. The smart and fortunate ones among us will not only prepare for the second half, but will relish and enjoy the process and be rewarded by having the second half of their lives be more fulfilling, contented, joyful and energetic than the first half of their lives. These fortunate ones learn about themselves, and so become more realistic. They learn about the new rules and reward systems, and so they aren’t resentful about changes. They learn about new opportunities and even create new opportunities. They adjust so well, that they would never dream about going back to the drudgery and pressures of the first half. They are the ones who learn to practice significance. As Wally Hawley said, “People have it backwards. Most people worry about what they will sacrifice in their Second Half. The sacrifice is in the First Half – the travel, the stress, the triviality of so much of it. The Second Half is where the joy is.”
In his books concerning Halftime, Bob Buford goes into detail about many of the issues involved. I highly recommend that you read his material, which is referenced at the end of the lesson. Halftime is an extremely crucial time for all of us. Halftime is that place where we can work out feelings and find a clearer picture of the life we were intended to live. Some of us may spend months in halftime, some a few years; some may never leave to play the second half. We often believe that we have no way other than business to get that thrill of success, that applause, that self-identity. The lure of going back to the first half is overwhelming for most of us. Yet, like the old saying, we find we “can’t go back home”. We have changed, and the business world we knew has changed. Yet, halftime is only a time of preparation for the second half. You cannot attain significance unless you leave the locker room and hit the playing field.
Preparing to Practice Significance
Before we continue, let’s briefly ponder a few questions:
· How much longer are life expectancies of our generation compared to our grandparents’?
· How much more affluent is this group than a similar group 50 years ago?
· How will these factors affect our retired lives compare to that of our grandparents? Our parents?
· Who is the happiest retired person you know? Why are they happy?
· Who is the most significant retired person you know? Why do you perceive they are significant?
As you answer the above questions, you see that there are lots of pieces to the second half significance puzzle, and we not only need to make them fit together, but we need to have a sense of dynamic balance, too. In fact, the tension in our plans will always be how to dynamically balance the pieces, while living with a sense of passion. It requires a comprehensive plan which encompasses all of our lives. For all of us, it will take years to design this plan and execute it. It took more than thirty or forty years to prepare for and succeed in the first half of our lives. Why won’t it take a long time to prepare and succeed in the second half?
I used to drive on I-35 north of Dallas quite often, many times with my children. For years there has been the shell of a huge house that got started, but never finished. I would always tell my kids of the short story in the Bible in the book of Luke. “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, “This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.” Though not easy, we all can build a tower of significance if we count the cost, plan ahead, and execute our plan.
Appendix 1 shows a list of the Practicing Significance lessons that are available, along with a suggested study outline that could be used to teach an adult class with more than thirty lessons. I believe that virtually any teacher could take these lessons, personalize them, and use them with only a minor amount of modification.
Appendix 1 gives an indication of the thought process behind the lesson plan. I believe that a significant life means living with balance and passion. The lesson plan is: first, understand your purposes and know what goals you want to accomplish; second, get your financial affairs in order so that you can maximize your time and financial resources; third, make giving an important part of your life; and fourth, optimize your intellectual and physical life.
Conclusion
As a nation and society we are wasting some of our most precious resources – the energy, knowledge, and wisdom of older people. Unfortunately this waste is also found in many churches and social organizations. This series of lessons has been designed to help people prepare to retire or make a major life change and move seamlessly into a life that is enjoyable, productive, and significant.
Additional Resources
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Halftime |
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Buford, Bob |
Halftime |
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Buford, Bob |
Stuck in Halftime (note: a good resource appendix) |
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Schwab, Charles |
You’re 50, Now What? |
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Burkett, Larry and Blue, Ron |
Wealth to Last |
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PRACTICING SIGNIFICANCE – LIST OF LESSONS
A. Introduction
1. Introduction to Practicing Significance
2. You’re Never Too Cold To Change
B. Purposes and Goals
1. Understanding Your Purposes
a. The Purpose Driven Life - Outline
2. Setting Your Goals
3. Making and Executing Your Life Plan
C. Financial Lessons
1. Personal Finance
2. Estate Planning
3. Investing
4. Life Insurance and Annuities
5. Other Insurance
6. Financial Advisors
7. Financial Issues for Retirees
D. Giving Lessons
1. Giving to Non-Profit Organizations
2. Microfinance
3. Family Gifting
4. Volunteering
5. The Passionate Few
E. Ministry to Second Halfers
1. Ministry to Second Halfers
F. Life Lessons
1. Aging - Physical Considerations
2. Aging – Mental Considerations
3. Aging – Preparing for Retirement
4. Preparing for the Inevitable
5. Care Giving for Aging Parents/Spouses
6. Grandparenting
7. Learning
8. Travel
9. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage